Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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