i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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