it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think people are normalizing furries
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
