I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize