apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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