@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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