Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
