OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize