I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
