wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
