We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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