the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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