and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
