She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
How's work?
Spinning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
