she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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