Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize