She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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