i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
