I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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