Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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