it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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