Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
