he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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