So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
