i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
