i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
