apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
