I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
