He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
