I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
