Apparently you make a good broom.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
