they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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