K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's rum buckets o'clock
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
