No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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