Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
