I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
