that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
