How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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