I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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