Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
