Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
