There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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