I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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