im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
