I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
