can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
