I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
