I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just forgot I was standing up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
