nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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