Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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