THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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