found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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