I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
