mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your cock deserves a montage
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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