I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
