I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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