We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
