had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
