this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
